Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Sonia Choquette on Observing, Not Absorbing Energy.

If you are an empath, there are times when you might feel caught up in an emotional maelstrom. People's energy seems to come rushing towards you, and you lose your footing and are swept off by the current. 

For me, I have started noticing how and when this happens because this doesn't happen all the time. There are times when I am centred in myself and when I don't absorb the rush of energy as much. There are also those times when I am overstimulated and one additional thing pushes me over the edge. 

I have also been finding new ideas and perspectives that point out all the little things I had been doing for years and that were making me more susceptible to other people's energies. One of them was a habit I had developed where I almost never crossed my arms in front of me. 

I remember reading as a teenager that crossing your arms was body language that indicated that you were on the defensive. I didn't want to be defensive at all. I wanted to be open, and I got into the habit of always keeping an open posture. 

Recently, I read something in Sonia Choquette's book Trust Your Vibes that really stood out to me because what she said is almost the opposite of what I had practiced many years back. 

Sonia talks about how, when we are sensitive and tuned in, we can absorb energy that we don't really want. We have to learn to observe, and not absorb as much. This is what she says about protecting ourselves in an emotionally charged situation when we can feel the onslaught of someone else's energy coming at us: 

"One of the best ways to remain grounded in your own energy whenever exposed to an intense emotional outburst is to cover your solar plexus (the area around your belly button)  with your arms folded, which is something we tend to do anyway. Notice how natural it is to cross your arms over your stomach whenever you feel defensive. I was reminded of this instinctive protective maneuver in an airport recently while I waited for my flight. I saw a child of about two being reprimanded by his overwrought mother, and as she scolded him, he looked directly at her with his arms folded defiantly across his chest, unfazed by her outburst. He was so effective in blocking her tirade that I had to laugh.

As that child demonstrated, folding your arms across your chest or belly button blocks negative energy from entering your body and protects you from its debilitating effects. Breathing as you do this also keeps foreign energy from invading your aura, and the more slowly you breathe, the more grounded and protected you are."    

Sometimes, simple things like these, which are also significant things because they help us own our space, can help us feel protected and centred. Always being open to anything, like I used to be when I was younger, doesn't help because we want to be open to the right thing and closed off to what is intrusive or overwhelming. In fact, being indiscriminately open does us harm, especially for people like us who absorb energy so readily. 

Does this make you think about where and how you are open? 

If this resonated with you and you know someone who would relate, do share this with them. Thank you!  


  1. I always thought that too, and it's what I have always practised most of my 50 sumpthin years. However, a couple of years ago, I met an old wise one who told me during a conversation about this very topic,

    "You have to be open."

    I didn't understand as it was both counter intuitive and opposite of all I had learned.

    After thinking long and hard about that statement, I remembered a story that Joseph Marshall III had told in his book, "The Lakota Way." A Grandfather was talking to his Grandson, who was very upset about bullies who had called him names. He told his Grandson that words can indeed hurt, but then he asked him if he had changed into those things that they had called him. The Grandson replied, "No." He then told him, "You cannot forget what they said anymore than you cannot feel the Wind when it blows. But, if you will learn to let the Wind blow through you, you will take away its power to blow you down. If you let the words pass through you, without letting them catch on your anger or pride, you will not feel them.

    So too, with energy.

    1. Practicing that for so many years sounds amazing! And thank you for that story... I can understand the kind of openness he was talking about. It is hard to practice though, at least for me. But there is such large wisdom in it... we can't "not" feel, but we have to let the feeling move through us. Something to think about and practice.

  2. I do not know about folded arms is good to avoid negative energy but I do know that it shows you are relaxing . I can fold million times now as only thing at work my supervisor hated was folding hands . Even if there is nothing left to do at the end of long day at work .He dared to say ( go home if nothing we could find ) even before time . And I did . Then I asked myself Who am I ? A tired laborer to go home . Liked reading all the columns . A beautiful writer . Did you write any book ?

    1. Thank you. Glad it connected! And thank you for sharing. No, I haven't written a book as yet :)